Blitz

Plot Synopsis: A tough cop is dispatched to take down a serial killer who has been targeting police officers.

 First off anyone who knows me knows I dig Jason Statham.  I work out on a daily basis in an effort to look like him.  I like almost all of his films.  Sorry Jason but Revolver sucked.  Someone should have taken a revolver and shot the writer of that pile of crap before he could finish.  With that said the day Blitz was released on Blue Ray I picked it up.  Big mistake.

    This movie is ass awful.  Statham stars as Detective Sargent Tom Brant.  He’s your typical tough, take no crap clone of every hardnosed cop in film history.  He beats up a group of kids with a hockey stick in the opening scene of the film when he hears them breaking into a car.  Obviously he has super hearing, as his in the 5^th floor flat which is above a busy street, and these guys are in an alley down the block.  After disposing of all of them he goes to see the department shrink, who he basically threatens into being able to keep his job.

   Around this time so nut job starts killing police officers.  So they need Statham to bring the killer to justice.  If this is not already hokey enough for your taste, the precinct gets a new chief who is your typical by the book type nerd, who obviously will butt heads with Statham’s character.  If that’s not enough we throw in another officer who is a recovering drug addict.  Not really sure why that matters.  Still not sure why it mattered, t really did nothing for the story.

  So Statham walks around brooding and looking violent the whole time.  When he’s not walking around he is driving his brand new Mercedes.  He should have kept the Audi from Transporter.  Cooler car, cooler in-joke.  He must have been on the take.  How does a cop afford a Mercedes?  Even this is a plot hole, and it has nothing to do with the plot.  So after Statham fumbles through some mug shots on the computer he figures out the killer has been arrested 8 times, by 8 different officers.  That’s how he gets the suspects name, and conveniently figures out he’s going to kill the drug addict cop next. Guess she does fit into this story.  Well not really, her back story is just stupid.  Don’t worry the girl cop doesn’t die, because even though the killer has used a hand gun each time he kills someone, he decides to use a wrench to kill her with.  She ducks, he friend shows up to break it up, so he just kills this guy instead.

  The next day Statham and rest of the force, yes the whole force go to get this guy, but there’s still 40minutes left of this awful plodding film so the guy jumps out a window and Statham gives chase.  They catch him, lock him up but they have nothing to charge him with so he gets let out.  Guess the fact his shoe print should be on the guy he killed, the fact his fingerprints would be on the wrench he dropped when trying to kill the drug addict girl cop, the fact he ran from police leading them down a chase in busy traffic endangering their lives and the lives of all the motorists on the highway aren’t ground to be arrested.

  He gets out, and yes Statham kills him.  There I ruined it, he kills him.  Not that you can’t figure this out by just picking up the DVD case. 

  I really wanted to like this film, I did.  But it sucks.  I’m not saying Statham is a bad actor, but I don’t pay to watch him act.  I want to watch him beat people up using kung Fu.  He didn’t do that, he just threw some typical tough cop punches.  He didn’t even throw a kick.  Why did he chase the guy on foot?  He’s the freaking Transporter for God’s sake.  At least have a car chase.  Who cares the girl cop, who’s so annoying, and unimportant I won’t even bother looking up her name used to be a drug addict.  I don’t, and neither will you.  Save your time and money, highly avoid.

Overall 1 out of 5 Stars