Here Comes The Boom!

A high school biology teacher looks to become a successful mixed-martial arts fighter in an effort to raise money to prevent extra-curricular activities from being axed at his cash-strapped school.

Kevin James stars as Scott Voss, a disillusioned teacher who is always late, doesn't really care, and constantly hits on the school nurse.  Hes friends with the school music teach, played wonderfully by Henry Winkler.  When he learns the music program will be cut, thus causing Winkler to lose his job he decides to do something about it.

He starts off teaching a citizenship class where he Meets Niko, who is played by MMA Superstar Bass Rutten.  They watch a UFC fight together and he learns you can make big cash fighting in MMA.  So as he was a former wrestler in college he decides to become a mixed martial artists in order to raise the $48 grand his school needs.

What follows is a very basic plot.  he fights, loses, begins winner, inspires his students, gets back the spark he once had for teaching, and yes, gets the girl.  Ohh yea he even makes it to the UFC for the big final fight.  Does he save the school?  What do you think?

This film succeeds on many levels.  James, as always is great as the shlubby do gooder.  The fight sequences are funny, yet at the same time wonderfully choreographed.  There are tons of real fighters in the film to add a sense of realism, and the humor works well.  However its Bass Rutten who steals ever scene he is in.  He has tons of charisma and screen presence.  And its always geat to see a tough guy give a silly performance.

Overall I like it.  It a funny feel good movie, that made me laugh, and made me feel good. And one other plus it's clean humor so its something the whole family can watch toghether.  I would highly recommend checking it out.

Overall 3 out of 5 Stars!

Safe

Mei, a young girl whose memory holds a priceless numerical code, finds herself pursued by the Triads, the Russian mob, and corrupt NYC cops. Coming to her aid is an ex-cage fighter whose life was destroyed by the gangsters on Mei's trail.

Safe aka Jason Statham kills 3/4 of New York.  Statham play a guy, who was supposed to take a dive in a MMA fight, unfortunately he puts his opponent in a coma.  So, as he was doing this for the Russian mob, they kill his pregnant wife and tell him that anyone he ever has contact with will die as well.  pretty cool set up.  So Statham basically just wanders the streets alone.

One day hes thinking about jumping in front of a train when he sees a little girl being chased by some of the Russians who killed his wife.  He follows them, then in true Statham fashion absolutely decimates them. 

Turns out this girl has been working for a Triad gang and has a code for a safe combination.  The Russians want this, as do every crooked cop in the city.  So its up to Statham to protect her, and boy does he.

Car chases, tons of martial arts sequences, shoot outs, double crosses, you name it.  This is an amazing action packed film.  The pacing is frantic, and it never slows down.  This is probably Statham's 2nd best film (Transporter 2 Rocks), and the best Action film of 2012.  Do not miss this.

Overall 5 out of 5 Stars!

Total Recall (2012)

 

A factory worker, Douglas Quaid, begins to suspect that he is a spy after visiting Rekall - a company that provides its clients with implanted fake memories of a life they would like to have led - goes wrong and he finds himself on the run

Ok, ok, I know its not the Arnold film, but its damn good.  In fact its not really even a remake, more of a re imagining.

In this version Collin Farrell steps up as Doug Quade, a factory worker who keeps having super spy flashback dreams.  he decides to go to Recall, when he can get a fantasy implanted in his brain.  He picks Secret Agent.  Turns out he already is one.  A group of soldiers show up and he takes them out in one long single camera shot.

His wife Lori, played by Kate Beckinsale is not happy this happened and she goes after him.  Luckily he is aided by his real girlfriend Melina.  See he used to work for Cohagen, played by Bryan Cranston from Breaking Bad fame.  Cohagen wants to wipe out the Colony, a place where lower, to middle class live to make more room for the rich.  To do this he needs to lure out a rebel by the name of Matthias.  That's where Quade comes in, as he used to work for Cohagen, and now has a fake memory implanted so he can be a plant.

This film takes place on earth, not Mars, and for that matter has very few similarities.  It does however have amazing action scenes.  Hover Car chases, gun battles, hand to hand fights, the works.  Great special effects, great cast, and a nice pace keep this moving right along.  Once again its not the original, but its a hell of a ride.

Overall 4 out of 5 Stars!

In case you did not know!

In case you did not notice.  The Big Kahuna Movie Reviews has undergone a name change (Don't worry address is the same) to Vault of Mysterious Reviews.  This is due to the fact that myself, and T-Shirt Joe have a 3 day a week podcast now.  The Vault of Mysterious Information.  The main link is

http://www.vaultofmysteriousinformation.blogspot.com/

There is a link there to this site, Mysterious News, Mysterious Toy Reviews, and coming soon Mysterious Book Reviews.  Also please take the time to give us a "Like" on Face Book

http://www.facebook.com/VaultOfMysteriousInformation?ref=hl

All episodes of the show are available on ITunes.

Have a look, and a listen, and enjoy.  Feedback is always welcome!

Universal Soldier Day of Reckoning!

John looks to take down Luc Deveraux after a home invasion claims his wife and daughter. The fight pits John against Andrew Scott and an army of genetically enhanced warriors; meanwhile, he must contend with a UniSol in relentless pursuit.

Scott Adkins, who I am a big fan of takes center stage in this installment of Universal Soldier.  You basically see everything through his eyes, and remember things as he does.  He plays a guy who's wife and daughter are killed by Jean Claude Van Damme and his group of Unisols.  Yes, Van Damme is the bad guy in this one.

So Van Damme, and Dolph Lundgren, who looks like Ted Knight on Roids in this film, are making Unisols remember who they are.  Like sleeper cells.  Adkins is one of these guys, or is he?  Guess you have to watch through his eyes and find out.

I have to say the action scenes are amazing.  Adkins can fight like no ones business.  Machetes to the head, axes to the foot, and baseball bats to the body.  Fantastic fight sequences.  The rest, I just don't know.  Its like watching a weird first person art house film with brutality.  I like action films, yet dislike art house stuff.  It cool, yet really dumb.  Action packed, yet rather dull.  I don't know how to describe it.

Bottom line, watch the film for the action not the plot.  Its a different entry in the series to say the least.

Overall 2 out of 5 Stars!

The Dark Knight Rises

Eight years on, The Dark Knight, Gordon and newcomer John Blake are pushed to their breaking points whilst desperately trying to handle Gotham's biggest ever threat: a legendary masked terrorist mastermind known only as Bane

  Ok, I figured it was high time I gave my two cents on this film, and as an avid comic book reader, with Batman being my favorite character I feel I am more than qualified to write this review.  Dark Knight Rises takes place about 8 years after Batman took the fall for Harvey Dent.  Because Dent is now regarded as a hero crime has all but vanished in Gotham.  And as hes a wanted man Batman has vanished as well.  Bruce Wayne has become a Howard Hugh's type recluse, who sunk all his money into a thermo fusion device.

Turns out there is a evil corporate raider out there who wants Wayne's company.  To help take it over he enlists a cat burglar names Selina Kyle, and a terrorist named Bane.Turns out Ban know Bruce is Batman.  Also turns out Bruce has gotten the itch to become Batman again, and comes out of retirement.  He of course fights Bane, and gets not only his ass kicked but his back broke.  Then for his troubles he gets thrown into a prison cell.

While Batman is broken Bane takes over Gotham but blowing up a football stadium, and letting everyone know he has the thermal device which is also a thermal bomb.  He says if anyone trys to leave he will destroy the whole city.  He frees all the prisoners from jail, and locks all the rich people up.

Do I need to tell you Batman comes back to save the day?  No I don't.  He gets help from Selina Kyle, who we all know as Catwoman, although she is never called that in the film.  Also there is a patrol man named Blake who assists as well.  So is this a good film?  Yes and No.

See its a good film, effective, and nicely tied into the other films thus completing a trilogy.  Bane was never much of a villain to me, but he was effective in this.  But I have a hard time rating this as I have to look at it from the comic book fan in me.

See, basically this story is a combination of The Dark Knight Returns, No Mans Land, and the entire Knightfall saga.  So to take these 3 giant storyline, combine them, add to them the mythology that you have created in previous films and shrink it to a 2 hour plus film is amazing and should get you a 5 star rating.

However I have no proof Nolan did this.  So on the other hand I could say this was a bunch of jumbled up shit crammed into the last film of a series to try and close everything out in a manner that makes no sense, yet offers no surprises, thus earning it a 1 star review.

So I will have to give this a somewhere in the middle review.  Its not a bad film, but by o means a great one.  I liked it, but in the same sense had problems with it.

Overall 2.5 out of 5 Stars!

Hotel Transylvania

Dracula, who operates a high-end resort away from the human world, goes into overprotective mode when a boy discovers the resort and falls for the count's teen-aged daughter.

So a long time ago villagers burned down Dracula's Castle, killing his wife and leaving him alone to raise his daughter.  Because of this Dracula hates humans, and decided to build a giant Hotel for all the creatures to come to, to be safe.

 On the eve of his Daughters Birthday a human stumbles upon the castle, and the two take a shine to each other.  Will the human and Dracula's daughter be together?  Will Dracula learn to like humans?  What do you think?

Yes this plot is basic, and a no brainer, but the cartoon is fun.  It features Adam Sandler as Dracula, Kevin James as Frankenstein, Steve Buscemi as The Wolfman, Jon Lovitz as Quasimodo and David Spade as The Invisible Man.  SO there you have it, its an animated Adam Sandler movie.  Fart Jokes, toilet humor, you name it.  And the best part, there is nothing scary about it.  Yes this is geared for kids.  So parents its perfectly safe.  My son is 3 and he has watched about 15 times in the last 3 days. 

Kids will dig the songs, yes Dracula does rap, the silliness, and the jokes.  Adults, like myself who grew up watching Universal Monster films will like it as well.  Honestly I cannot recommend this enough.

Overall 4 out of 5 Stars!

Death Race Inferno

Convicted cop-killer Carl Lucas, aka Frankenstein, is a superstar driver in the brutal prison yard demolition derby known as Death Race. Only one victory away from winning freedom for himself and his pit crew.

Death Race Inferno pick up right when Death Race 2 ends.  Frank Lucas is now thought dead, having been in a horrible car fire.  He is badly burned and disfigured, but is given a deal.  He will be surgically repaired, along with the condition he wear a mask and goes by the name Frankenstein.  One condition he cannot tell his crew.  He agrees, and as Frankenstein wins 4 races.  5 race gets you and your crew freedom.  Unfortunately there is a corporate raid and Death race is taken over by the evil Niles York.
 
York wants to take the race to South Africa for a giant desert Baja Death Race, and tells Frankenstein he will be killed if he wins.  From there we have 70 minutes of violent car chase mayhem.  Even a big battle royal to the death between the women navigators.

The film is fantastic.  Everything an action fan needs.  It is the last chapter in the trilogy, as it ends where the Statham film would be set to start.  The fights, and car scenes are all state of the art.  My only question is, why does no one ever shoot at the tires of the other drivers car?  With that question aside I highly recommend.

Overall 4 out of 5 stars.!