Friday, March 2, 2012


Plot Synopsis: A thriller centered on a young man who sets out to uncover the truth about his life after finding his baby photo on a missing persons website.

  Ok, so I originally didn't want to see this, as I hate Twilight, and this film stars the muscular kid with a lot of baby fat, who I think plays the werewolf dog looking thing in Twilight.  However, I found it quite a good popcorn film.  So giant dog guy from Twilight plays a kid who one day sees himself on a missing person web site.  Turns out his dad was a super secret agent, or something like that.  His mom got killed buy a bad guy when he was little, and now the bad guy has found him!  So the bad guys goons kill his fake parent and come after him, and his ass ugly girlfriend looking for a list of secret codes that he has in his possession.
  Luckily for our hero his fake dad trained him in Martial Arts, and Boxing, and weapons so he beats the shit out of every one who comes after him.  Which was smart of his fake dad to do, not only because he must have known the bad guys would come after him, but because he somehow lost his werewolf turning ability.
  The action scenes are very good, Sigourney Weaver once again proves that even she looks hot in a push up bra.  Taylor Lautner is a good teenage action star, but who in the hell cast Lilly Collins as his hot girlfriend.  She is grotesque.  Look at her.  She has a giant uni brow that she clearly does not know how to properly shave.  Her eyebrows are so nasty, words cant describe it.  There pitch black, and thick as hell.  She looks like an old school Russian Dictator.  Every time she was on screen I just found myself looking at that hideous thing above her crocked eyes.
  Eyebrow girl aside, I recommend this film.  Its really good.

Overall 3 out of 5 Stars!


  1. an odd choice of film for the comeback sir but a great review as always. The shorter reviews are just fine and if it means we get more of them then so much the better! We just want the G man back reviewing stuff! Great work and keep going!

  2. Thank you, it means a lot to know people like reading these reviews

  3. Good stuff bro. You had me cracking up pretty hard.

    - Dale Roy