Friday, March 29, 2013

Avenging Force

Michael Dudikoff, who proves you don't have to know how to act to make a living in Hollywood teams up with his American Ninja buddy Steve James in this action packed low budget piece of cinema gold.

Dudikoff is Matt Hunter, a former Intelligence Officer taking care of his little sister.  he visits his buddy Larry, played by James, and finds out hes been getting death threats from a gang know as Pentangle.  Turns out there a right wing group that Larry encountered and stopped back when he was in the service.  They like to hunt down humans for sport.  Right there, that's all you need.  Hunting people always means good.

They kidnap Dudikoffs sistser and all hell breaks lose.  Unfortunately there are no ninjas in this film, but its still a great action packed 90 minutes.  Worth watching.

Overall 3 out of 5 Stars!

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein

Abbott and Costello star as Wilbur, and Chick in this laugh riot send up of the old Universal Monster films.  They play two baggage handlers who are given the task of delivering 2 packages to a local Horror House.  Inside the boxes are the Frankenstein Monster, and Dracula's Coffin.  Larry Talbot, you know, the Wolfman is trying to get them to stop them from delivering these as he knows they are real and not props.

Dracula rises in front of Wilbur, but no one believes him.  He plans on taking Wilbur's brain and putting it into the Frankenstein Monster so he will be easy to control.  The grand finale takes place in a huge castle/laboratory, that features Abbott and Costello running from Frankenstein, while the Wolfman battles Dracula.

I have loved this film ever sense I was a little kid, and I still love it to this day.  There is a reason this is considered a timeless classic.

Overall 5 out of 5 Stars!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension

Peter Weller stars as Buckaroo Banzai.  Hes a scientist/Neuro surgeon/rock singer who, with his team, known as the Hong Kong Cavaliers must stop a threat from the 8th dimension.

See in this weird plot, John Lithgow plays the evil Dr Lizardo.  He leads the Red Lectroids.  There evil, and after the Oscillation Overthruster that Buckaroo has, as it can allow you to travel through solid matter.  He is helped by a group of other aliens, who are all Jamaican.  Plus he dates a chick named Penny Pretty.

Sound weird?  Then picture Jeff Goldblum dressed like a cowboy.   Yes, as in chaps, hat and all.  The films makes little to know sense, and try's very hard to be cooler than it actually is.  However, it is different, and kind of fun in its own quirky way.  Worth a look!

Overall 2 out of 5 Stars!

Monday, March 25, 2013

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

Some fool gave Terry Gilliam a ton of cash to make this horrible mess of a film.  Its about Baron Munchausen.  It takes place in the 18th century.  He and his crew go on a quest to save their kingdom from invading Turks.

They go to the moon, get eaten by a sea monster, and other really exciting things.  I say that in sarcasm.  Good special effects do not help this overly long (over 2hr) film.  Its just horrible.  However fans of Gilliam will tell you how great it is.  There wrong.  Watch it if you cant sleep.  Its sure to cure insomnia.  If you really need to sleep have a double feature with the equally as awfull Eric The Viking!

Overall 1 out of 5 Stars!

The Adventures of Ford Fairlane

Andrew "Dice" Clay stars as Ford Fairlane a Rock n Roll detective in one of the funniest raunchy humor comedies ever made.  Hes hired by Gilbert Godfreed, Priscella Presley, and Wayne Newton to track down a groupie named Zu Zu Pedels.  She used to date a heavy metal singer named Bobby Black who was murdered.

Dice does a great job, as the crude, shock detective.  Lauren Holly plays his assistant, Robert Englund is the seemingly unstoppable hit man after Ford, and Ed O'Neil plays a former disco duck who's now a detective on the same case.  The case has something to do with bootleg CD's. 

What the film really is, is a showcase of Dices comic act, as he was the hottest comic out there at the time.  Raunchy, crude, over the top, and directed by Renne Harlen.  What more do you need?

Overall 4 out of 5 Stars!

The Adventures of Captain Marvel

I love serials, and this is one of my favorites.  Its the story of a boy named Bill Batson, who, while on an expedition meets a wizard named Shazam who give him the power to transform into the super hero  Captain Marvel.

He must protect the Golden Scorpion Idol.  The idol contains 5 lenses, that when combined can form the most powerful weapon on earth.  The scientists who find it divide them up to protect the world.  Unfortunately a villain named The Scorpion is after them and its up to our hero Captain Marvel to stop them.  This DVD contains all 12 episodes of the original serial.

Overall 3 out of 5 Stars!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Action Jackson

Carl Weathers from Rocky fame stars as Action Jackson, a tough cop who was busted down a few ranks after braking the arm of Craig T Nelsons son.  Nelson is the bad guy who is killing off union reps or something.  It doesn't make much sense to be honest.  But then again who cares.

Jackson teams up with Vanity after he is framed for the murder of Nelsons wife, played by a young and hot Sharon Stone.  Weathers is fantastic in the role, as is Nelson, and quite frankly the entire cast.  This is a fun ride from beginning to end which features a good fight between Nelson and Weathers in the climax.  Like the title says Action!

Overall 3 out of 5 Stars!

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

This is, to date, the only sequel Jim Carrey has ever done.  He probably realized how much this stunk and smartened up. This film shows how to take a good character and just ruin it in 90 minutes.

Ace is in a monastery after letting a squirrel fall to its death in a Cliffhanger spoof scene.  He comes out of retirement to track down a white bat, the sacred symbol of an African Tribe.  Same toilet humor as the first, but this time it falls flat.  Not funny what so ever.  Avoid.

Overall 1 out of 5 Stars!

Ace Ventura Pet Detective

This is not only the breakout role for Jim Carrey but one of the funnies films ever made.  Carrey stars as Ace Ventura, a detective who deals in missing pets.  One night the Miami Dolphins mascot Snowflake, a dolphin is stolen, and hes hired by Courtney Cox to get her back.

What follows is 90 minuets of hilarity as Ace must not only rescue the Dolphin but Dan Marino as well.  Jim Carrey making his ass sing, a montage of him tracking down players, and the greatest Crying Game scene in film make this a winner, and surprisingly fun for all ages.  Don't worry little ones wont get the bad jokes.

Overall 4 out of 5 Stars!

Above The Law

No not the one starring the great Steven Segals, but the one starring the great Cynthia Rothrock.  Rothrock as a cop who is after Yuen Biao, a lawyer who decides to go after criminals after his family is murdered.  She soon realises hes one of the good guys and the two team up to bring a crime syndicate down.

Amazing fight scenes to say the least.  Including a jaw dropping one with Rothrock battling it out against Karen Sheapard in an mall under construction.  Don't miss this one, as its one of the best Kung Fu films out there!  I'm not saying its better than the Seagal Above The Law film, but lets face it, it is.

Overall 4 out of 5 Stars!


Abby has been called allot of things, most prominently a rip off of the Exorcist.  That's not really fair as this is actually a good film, where as the Exorcist sucks.  Abby is about a counselor, named Abby who get possessed by a crossroads demon her father freed while on an exhibition
 She becomes evil and horny as its a sexual demon.  So her dad has to come home and perform an exorcism. This is a good Blaxploitation film, and just a fun film in general.  Like I said I don't like to compare it to the Exorcist because I like this one.

Overall 3 out of 5 Stars!

Friday, March 22, 2013

Special Announcement

I have been toying with the idea of making a film review book for a few years now. Starting this weekend I will begin that project. As book go in alphabetical order I will begin sharing reviews on here from A-Z starting Monday!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Clash of the Red Rangers

The Samurai Rangers team up with the mysterious RPM Ranger Red to fight off dual threats from Master Xandred's Mooger army and a robotic supervillain from the RPM Ranger's dimension.

The RPM Ranger, who is red travels from his world to our in search of a villain from his planet named Professor Cog who has come her to team up with Xandred and his army.  Luckily for him he gets help from our Power Rangers, The Super Samurai's.  Well not so lucky.  He doesn't like them.  Hes kind of an ego maniac.

Professor Cog manages to not only shoot both Red Rangers with Hypno Bullets, causing them to hate each other, but to send the other Samurai Rangers to his dimension.  Will they overcome the odds and stop the villains from teaming up?  Guess you'll have to watch.

The martial arts scenes are very well done, as are most of the fight scenes in the film.  Its fun to watch the RPM ranger in his car chase down villains while the Samurai Rangers travel on horse back.  If your a fan of the show check it out.  Its only 45min long, but a fun ride for kids, and fans of the Power Rangers in general.

Overall 3 out of 5 Stars!

Monday, March 18, 2013

Expendables II

The Expendables 2 (2012) Poster

Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat

Stallone and company return for another action packed outing.  This time joined by Chuck Norris, playing the role of the Lone Wolf.

They are after Jean Claude Van Dam playing a guy named Villain, get it Villain, Bad Guy, great name.  He kills one of there men and plans on mining tons of Plutonium.  His right hand man is future action Superstar Scott Adkins.

This time Bruce Willis, and Arnold have more screen time, as they join Stallone and his team for the final airport battle.

This film fires, and works on all cylinders.  Funny, over the top, action packed, you name it.  The main reason it succeeds as well as it does, is because it doesn't take itself seriously.  Even the actors make fun of their previous films. Only complaint, the fight between Adkins and Statham needed to be longer.  Had that happened it would have been the perfect action film.  Go see it now.

Overall 4.5 out of 5 Stars!

Sunday, March 17, 2013

El Gringo

El Gringo (2012) Poster

A man crossing into Mexico with a satchel of $2,000,000, and a bloody past, finds himself under sudden attack in the sleepy town of El Fronteras.

Scott Adkins, who is just awesome might I say stars as an unnamed DEA agent who, after a bust goes bad end up with 2 million dollars.  As hes crossing into Mexico he stoppes at a sleepily little town that is run by a crooked sheriff and a local gang.  There is also some chick who constantly keeps grabbing his bag of cash forcing him to cash her.  On top of all that Christian Slater is after him.

Adkins is the future of action films, he just needs a film to deliver in.  This one sort of does.  The action is great, and the film truthfully is about 80% action.  The other 20% is bad.  The fact that this girl jacks his bad like 4 times is absurd, and lazy on the filmmakers part.  Also I like Robert Rodriguez as much as the next guy, but this was filmed to look like a Rodriguez film.  It looks like a film trying to look like a Rodriguez film.

Those few point aside, I highly recommend it.  Like I said the actions scenes are great, and you don't watch films like this for the plot.

Overall 3 out of 5 Stars!


Haywire (2011) Poster

A black ops super soldier seeks payback after she is betrayed and set up during a mission.

Ever head of Gina Carano?  Shes a MMA fighter.  She's really good, too bad this movie is not.  \

Gina stars as Mallory Cane.  Shes a government agent who gets double crossed, and set up, or something like that.  I stopped paying attention about 30 min in.  The fight scenes are really good because, she actually knows how to fight.  She;s also very believable in the tough guy role, as she looks like a man.

So she gets double crossed, or something, and beats up a bunch of people, including Channing Tatum and then gets revenge.  It should have been good, but its not.  Aside from the fight scenes everything else is slow.  Very slow, so slow I am getting tired of even writing about this turd.

Overall 1 out of 5 Stars!

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Maximum Conviction

Maximum Conviction (2012) Poster

When former black ops operative Cross (Seagal) and his partner Manning (Austin) are assigned to decommission an old prison, they must oversee the arrival of two mysterious female prisoners

You know whats great? Stone Cold Steve Austin.  You know whats amazing?  Steven Seagal.  You know what happens when you team them up?  Amazing greatness.

Austins and Seagal star as 2 former Special Forces solders, who with their team are decommissioning a federal Prison.  2 female prisoners arrive on its last night for transfer, and suddenly Michale Pare and his team of commandos launch an assault on the prison to grab the girls.

Its up to Austin and Seagal to single handily take down this whole team.  Austin once again does what hes best at.  Beating people up, blowing people up, and shooting things up.  Seagal is bad ass as always, slapping around anyone who gets in his way.  The action moves at a fast pace, which has become a trademark of the Austin straight to DVD films.

I recommend this film to fans of Seagal, and Austin, as well as action fans in general.  Nice action scenes, macho dialog, and two great leads make for a fun film.  My only complaint, Austin and Seagal share little to know screen time together during the action scenes.  I would have like to have seen them team up and fight back to back for at least a final battle.  Other than that, go check it out.

Overall 3 out of 5 stars!

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Amazing Spiderman

Peter Parker finds a clue that might help him understand why his parents disappeared when he was young. His path puts him on a collision course with Dr. Curt Connors, his father's former partner

First off Sam Rami is a one trick pony, with little to no directing talent.  All his films look the same.  With that said I do not hold his Spiderman films in high regard like others do.  I like them, don't get me wrong but that is primarily because of the performance of Tobey Maguire.

Amazing Spiderman is the new franchise from Marvel stars Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker.  This films follows The Ultimate Spiderman comics a little closer.  Peter's parents are scientists who leave him with his Uncle Ben and Aunt May one night when they need to get out of town.  They never come back.

Peter is a typical high school outsider.  Quiet, smart, bullied you name it.  He finds out his parents used to work with a scientist named Curt Conner's who is working with reptile DNA to use in a regeneration processes.  See he's missing a hand.

When Peter goes to see him he gets bit by a radio active spider.  You know the rest.  Uncle gets killed he becomes spiderman and becomes the Wall Crawling Web Head who fights crime.  Or in this case The Lizard.  See Conner's uses the DNA treatment on his arm and mutates into a giant lizard who want to release lizard gas over NY.

Peter Parker is joined in his quest to save the city by Dennis Leary, who is just fantastic in everything he does in my opinion.  Leary is Capt Stacey of the NYPD.  TO complicate things Peter is seeing his daughter Gwen Stacy. 

The film is fun, looks amazing, and in my opinion is far superior the the Rami films.  I like how its slightly modernised.  Like when Peter gets his powers he smacks Flash Thompson around for picking on him.  Something I would do.  My only complaint however is Andrew Garfield.  He does a great job, but is way to pretty to be playing Peter Parker.  Toby Maguire will always be Peter Parker.  With that being my only complaint I cant put this over enough

Overall 4 out of 5 stars!

Saturday, March 9, 2013

The Package

A courier for a local crime lord must deliver a mysterious package while being chased by a horde of unusual gangsters.

Stone Cold Steve Austin returns for another action packed film.  He plays Danny, a bouncer/muscles for a crime boss.  He works for this guy because his brother, who is in jail owes the guy a lot of money.  Austin gets an offer to deliver a package to Judge Smails, I mean the German played by the rapidly ageing Dolph Lundgren.  See if he delivers the package to the German, his brothers debt will be erased.  With that said you know its not good.

Once in route Austin is attacked by a hit squad who want the package.  The German, who is a bad dude as well wants it, as it technically is his.  Luckily for Austin he was a special forces guy, or something like that.  He used to be in a crew with the German, before he was double crossed.  And as he is a trained killer he has no problems, shooting, stabbing, fighting, and blowing the bad guys up.

Austin once again delivers the goods.  The film is action packed, has a nice 90min run time and flys right by.  Austin knows what he is good at, and he displays that skill well in this film, which I do recommend.

Overall 3 out of 5 Stars