Monday, October 17, 2011

Black Roses

Plot Synopsis: Demons hypnotize the general public by posing as a rock and roll band.

  Ahh the 80's, a time of horrible hairband music, ugly cloths, and very cool straight to video movies.  Black Roses is one of those films.  In all actuality this film should suck.  But it's really good.  I first saw it on the old USA Up All Night show.  I then went out and bought the cool VHS tape with the 3D cover.  Then a few years back Synapse Pictures released a gorgeous DVD transfer.

  Black Roses centers on a Heavy metal band named  Black Roses.  Their lead singer is Damion.  A typical 80's glam metal band.  By typical I mean crap.  big hair, sissy vocals, Spinal Tap reject back up players, ugly outfits, the whole nine yards.  Well there music turns people into zombies, or something like that.  They go to a sleepy town to put on a series of shows at the local high school.  The kids are all normal, they even look up to a cool teacher.  We know he's cool because he has a Tom Selleck mustache, and wears jeans to school with his zip up hoodie.    At first the parents, and school board don't want the band playing there, as heavy metal music is evil.  That was a huge taboo around this time.  But when they go to check out the bands first show they see Damion, the singer is dressed nice, and singing slow love music.  For some reason the parents don't stick around, they just go "Ohh this isn't so bad" and leave halfway into the first song.  Once gone our Band pulls a magic trick of some sort and is now dressed in full heavy metal cheese costumes.  They start singing there God Awful music.

  The next day the kids start acting different.  Angry, aggressive, rebelling against authority.  Our one stereotypical Italian kid gets yelled at by his dad for having an earring, and suddenly a giant monster pops out of the stereo speaker and sucks the dad in.  The kids go back to the concert the next day, yes, it's a whole series of crap music, and become further possessed by evil.  One kid runs his mom over with a car, another kills her abusive step dad, and also the girlfriend of our hero teacher.  The principal gets thrown out the window.  And in one very weird, but amusing scene a girl seduces her freinds dad by playing strip gin rummy.
  Just as our hero is about to spring into action, one of his students shows up to sexually entice him.  She's pretty hot, and gets naked.  When he pushes her away she tuns into a weird looking cross between a demon, zombie, and that hot thing from Splice.  It's not much of a demon, as he beats it to death with a baseball bat.

So he finally decides he has to take the band out, and goes to there concert.  As everyone is in a trance he starts dumping gasoline on stage.  Guess he doesn't really like his students, as he must be planning on burning them to death too.  He gets caught, as hes basically 2 feet from our lead singer, who morphs into a demon, along with the rest of the band.  Demon may be too strong.  More like big rubber monster.  Luckily as I said before there not that tough, as our hero starts fighting them off, complete with sound effects after each hit.  Just when all is lost, and our teacher is grabbed he does the dreaded "Kick the rubber monster in the balls" bit and lights the stage on fire, while the band plays.  Which is much cooler then the band playing as the ship went down in Titanic.  Somehow this causes the kids to go back to normal, as they leave the building.

  As this is 80's horror, we cut to the final scene where our teacher, and the mayor are watching TV too learn that the Black Roses will be playing a set of shows in Madison Square Garden!

  Ok, I know this sounds bad.  Truth be told it kind of is.  But it is entertaining.  I hate the music.  But watching a rubber monster get kicked in the balls is funny.  Plus it has good, and bloody scenes, with nudity, so there is something there for the fan of 80's horror.  If you like 80's horror, dig Heavy Metal, or just like cheesy films check this out.  The DVD transfer is fantastic.  If you a child of the 90's you may want to avoid

Overall 3 out of 5 Stars.

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