Friday, September 23, 2011

Kickboxer 5: The Redemption

Plot Synopsis: Kickbox champion Matt Reeves witnesses the murder of his friend Johnny. When he investigates on the circumstances it appears that a Mr. Neegal in South Africa has founded a new kickbox association and does not leave international champions much of a chance. Johnny had to pay with his life when he did not want to join. Neegal seems to kill everybody who is in his way. Matt is on his own now, but suddenly finds an unexpected ally.  

 Kickboxer 5, wow, they were on there way to catching up with Police Academy, but unfortunately something happened in real life, between part 4 and now.  See Sasha Mitchell was arrested for domestic abuse, and not only was he removed from his TV Show Step By Step, he was removed from Kickboxer as well.  No don't worry there is not another Sloan brother we have not seen before.
  The film starts with James Ryan, one of my favorite martial arts stars sitting at a desk in South Africa when he has just learned that David Sloan (Mitchell's character) did not accept his offer to join his new Kickboxing league.  Do I even have to tell you this promoter is evil as well?  Just a note to everyone reading, don't be a professional kickboxer, there promoters are all evil.  So how does he handle this news?  Simple he has Sloan killed.  We see this in a blue and black colored montage over the opening credits.  It is then we meet, in my opinion the worlds most underrated martial artist Mark Dacascos who is teaching a class when he learns that David Sloan has been killed.  He send's flowers.  That's it, no more mention of Sloan.  So Mark goes to meet up with his buddy, and student who is fighting for the championship later that night.  Of course he wins the title, and is then approached by James Ryan's men, who tell him to come over to look at the contract there offering him for the new kickboxing league.  See Ryan wants all the world champions to sign over to him.  He reads the contract and tells them its crap, so they kill him.  But before he dies Dacascos shows up and beats down the bad guys.  He goes to tell the cops, but they don't believe him. SO he goes home only to get jumped by a guy named Paul who Ryan has just gotten released from prison.  The guy tells him Ryan had his friend killed, then just leaves.  Why didn't Dacascos ask Paul to go to the cops?  So guess what?  Decostas is on his way to South Africa. 
  Now here is where I start to get just a little annoyed, the guy who jumped Dacascos and told him who ordered his friends killed is on the plan next to him.  See he was supposed to kill Mark, but didn't.  So rather then go hide out in America he decides to just go back to South Africa, which is just plain dumb.  So when they land Ryan's goons jump them in the airport where they have there little chase/fight scene.  Here is where I really get annoyed.  See Mark Dacascos is on a whole nother level of martial arts.  If you see Drive, or Only The Strong you know he can move better then in my opinion any martial artist in films.  His fight with Jet Li and the end of Cradle to the Grave was fantastic, but only because Li can move with him.  No one in this film can.  So rather then slow the action down, Dacascos doesn't even make contact with like 0 percent of the people he hits.  They just simply fall down, while a cheesy thud noise plays in the background.  On video it was harder to notice, but on DVD it is clearly horrible. 
  So now the two hero's split up, and Dacascos wanders the streets when he is suddenly surrounded by Ryan's gang, they chase him to an abandoned building.  Why are buildings always abandoned in karate films.  It would be cooler if they were occupied and people working there just stared on as the guys fight.  Anyway just as the bad guys have Dacascos backed into a corner our other would be hero Paul shows up to save them.  Doesn't do a ton of good as they get arrested, but not to worry after befriending a black dude that they now know for 1 whole day he lets them in on his escape plan and they break out and go to stay at Paul's sisters house.
  So Dacascos and Paul beat up two guys, and steal the cloths and go to a gambling event that Ryan is at.  In a very James Bond moment Dacascos beats Ryan at roulette then announces to everyone that Ryan is dirty, and had his friends killed.  Now in yet another moment of pure stupidity Ryan order his men to kill Dacascos and Paul.  Which really does prove he's guilty,.  Why didn't he just yell "Those men are wanted for a jail break, call the cops!" No he orders his guys after them, which just ends in his guys getting beat up.
  Now that we are about 1 hour and 15min in, it's time for Dacascos to break into Ryan's compound and fight him.  In what it truly the worst, most one sided final battle in history Dacascos beats down Ryan, then Paul's sister stabs Ryan with a spear, and they all walk outside and fade off in the sunset.
  This film is bad, the fight scenes as I mentioned suck, and that's the only reason to watch ones of these films.  I can take the dumb story and plot holes, those are to be expected in a Kickboxer film, bad bad martial art's scenes are unacceptable.  Only watch this if you have the box set.  Otherwise don't buy it separately.  The only thing I liked was seeing James Ryan again, as he was in Kill and Kill Again, which is a childhood favorite of mine. And obviously I was not the only person to dislike this, as there was no Kickboxer 6, so yes that means Kickboxer Week has come to a close.

Overall 2 out of 5 Stars!

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