Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Life As We Know It

Plot Synopsis:  Two single adults become caregivers to an orphaned girl when their mutual best friends die in an accident.

 My wife told me I need to start reviewing "Chick Flicks"  I just happened to watch this one the other day, so here goes.  If this was my life as I knew it, I would hang myself.  No that would take to long, I would shoot myself in the head.
  When Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel's friend die in a car crash they end up having to take care of the couples little girl.  Have you ever noticed that every time 2 parents die in a movie and leave the kid to be cared for by someone else, it always a car crash that kills them.  Wouldn't it be cooler if the parents died of auto erotic exficsiation instead?  That would be sweet.  But this film has a twist, no not really but Heigl, and Duhamel aren't married, they don't even like each other.  Yea that's a point for originality.  So they move into the dead couples house and begin raising the kid.  I guess every single relative, on both sides of the family are dead as well, and that's why the courts thought this 80's sitcom plot would be a good environment for a 1yr old. 
  As you can figure out hilarity ensues, and as you figured out before you even had to think they end up all living together happily ever after, after fighting, and splitting up, and every other tired cliche in romantic comedy history.
  I hate Katherine Heigl.  If I had to live with her, or heaven forbid wake up next to her I would commit suicide.  She is the worst actress out there today.  She has a face like a horse, and the body of a 60 year old man. I think she must have been in a fire when she was little and the fireman put her face out with a chain.  He should have used an ax.  She cannot act, shes as robotic as they come in delivering her lines, which is why they probably cast Duhamel opposite of her, as he was in Transformers and has proven he can act with robots.
  Don't get me wrong, his character is crap too.  Hes the playboy, single guy with the cool job, who sleeps with all the lady's but now has to settle down and raise a kid, and grow as a person and be a good dad.  My head hurts just writing this.
   I don't mind girl movies.  Noting Hill, Runaway Bride, Failure to Launch, and Sweet Home Alabama are all good films, with little to no originality.  But they had something this pile of crap doesn't.  Good acting, and a half way decent script.  When the fat girl from Mike and Molly (Mellisa McCarthy) is the hottest funniest girl in the film we have a problem.  Heigl just screams "Turn the channel" when you see her, its scary how bad an actress she is.  Ashton Kutcher out acted her in Killers, and his only believable role to date was Dude Where's My Car.
  If you dig romantic comedies you may like this.  It will at least make you feel better about your life.

Overall 1 out of 5 Stars.

1 comment:

  1. Best review I've read in a long time.

    The movie should have been called "Life as Written by Assholes and Stupid People" or "Watch as They Blow It" or "Please Never Show It" or... yeah... exactly.