Saturday, September 24, 2011


Plot Synopsis: A former spy relies on his old skills to save his estranged daughter, who has been forced into the slave trade 

 You ever really like a movie but hate it at the same time?  That's how I feel about Taken.  It's not the film I hate, more of the aftermath, which I will explain later.
  Taken stars my personal favorite mumbler Liam Neilson.  I call him that because, listen closely, he mumbles everything that comes out of his mouth.  See he's a retired special forces CIA guy or something like that who quit the business to be closer to his family, which is kind of dumb because he and his wife are divorced, and she has custody of the kid.  So one night his buddies, also former spies or whatever tell him they could use his help working security at a rock concert.  Obviously the arena guards and cops would not be enough. And obviously they are pretty crappy special forces spies, because why would they need help?  And also what the hell kind of crowd are you expecting when you need special forces guys to work security?  So he goes along with them, and to prove that the gate security truly sucks some guy with a knife ends up backstage and tries to stab the rock singer.  Luckily Liam is there to throw a couple of kung fu moves at the guy and drop him.  The girl is so appreciative she tells him he can bring his daughter over to meet her.  What a bitch!  She doesn't sleep with him, she doesn't give him money, doesn't offer him a job as head of her personal security, she just gives him her address.
  When he's done he takes the spare change he made off this job and goes to a local Radio Shack run by his Hindu friend to buy his daughter a Karaoke Player for her birthday.  She gushes all over that, then her step dad gives her a pony.  Side note, If I was Liam I would have beat that guys ass with the Karaoke machine for upstaging me in front of my kid.  He meets his kid later for a milkshake and is about to tell her he has some singers address so she can meet her but he's interrupted when she asks if she can go to Paris for the summer.  As he is paranoid he mumbles No, and some other nonsense, so she runs off crying.  He feels bad so he tells her she can go, but only if she calls him every night.  She agrees.
  So her and her friend get off the plane and share a cab with some smarmy looking guy and get off at there apartment.  Turns out the dude is a lookout, and some guys come in and grab the girls, while Liam is on the phone with his daughter.  He tells his daughter to describe the guys as they drag her out.  I don't have to tell you this because it was in every trailer, and commercial for this film.  He then tells the kidnappers he's coming for them!
  Now luckily he doesn't have to wait to get a passport and book a flight as her step dad has a plane.  He then finds out from his other spy buddy she has been taken by a group of people who sell girls into slavery.
  So Liam get to Paris, and luckily the cops still haven't searched the apartment, he must has caught a Red Eye, so he finds his daughters cell phone, and conveniently even though it's smashed the memory chip is fine.  In another unbelievable coincidence the airport has a film developer which just happens to have a slot for that particular cell phone card.  And even better it has an enlargement button so he can see the reflection of the guy who shared the cab with them.  Then guess what!  In another stroke of luck the same guy is standing on the same corner, in the same airport trying to pull the same scam.  But he wasn't prepared for the mumbling kung fu of Liam, as he gets pounded until he runs away, and after a chase through the streets get hit by a truck and dies, well splatters is more like it.
  Guess what, all is not lost as Liam decides to go and try to pick up a hoke to get some information.  But before hand he talks to his old friend who just no happens to be a police detective, who wants Liam out of town before he causes a bloodbath.  That's not gunna happen though as we still have an hour left of the film.  So when one of the girls pimps comes up to Liam he places a tracking device on the guy and follows him to his secret hideout where they have another girl tied up.  Liam beats the guys up, and crashes a few cars along the way but helps the girl back to his hotel and finds out more about where the girls get taken.  We never see this girl again, and she was completely strung out on drugs when he found her.  He must have just left her to die, or detox into a coma or something.
  SO he goes to the bad guys lair and passes himself off as a crocked cop looking for a bribe.  It is there where he hears the voice of the man eh talked to on the phone, so he kills everyone in the room.  He finds his daughters friend, but his daughter has ben taken.  I'm using the word taken allot.  He finds one of the guys still alive, so he ties him up puts his feet in water and begins shocking him until he finds out more information.  Then he kills the guy.  Which is cool, I don't like the heart of gold hero's.
  He goes back to his cop friends house to get an address for the main bad guy, and finally figures out his friend is dirty.  So in one of the cooler scenes in film he shoot the guys wife in the arm and says "It's a flesh wound, but the next one wont be unless you tell me what I want to know!"  He gets the address and goes to get his little girl.
  Liam arrives at the slave auction and finds his daughter, and makes some sleazy guy buy her.  But before he can grab her he is stopped by 3 men.  That doesn't last as he kills all of them and hops in a car to chase after his daughter.  Luckily the car has a great GPS system, and he heads down the road in a town that's strange to him and still manages to not only head her captors car off, but drive to a bridge just in time and hop out of the car, and onto the boat she has just taken off it.  See I said taken again.  He kills everyone on the boat and saves his daughter.  He takes her back home, and in the final scene takes her to the rock singers house.  And just who the hell is this singer?  We don't know!  I mean what if his daughter hated the type of music she sang?  That would be a shitty ending.  And also when they get to her house it's a frickin mansion.  Which begs me to wonder, why doesn't she have her own security team to begin with? Oh well.
  I like this film because it is a mindless movie with a great cast.  Good action scenes, and Liam is believable in his role.  With that said I hate it because not only does my wife have it on every other day, but it's really not an original film.  It's nothing you wouldn't see Segal, or Van Damm do.  This just happened to have a good actor in the lead.  I also hate the fact that now every time Liam is in a film you are led to believe its going to be just like Taken.  Just make a part 2, keep the same story and make it rated R.  I'm serious!  Watch Faster with The Rock.  The girl who played Liam's daughter in the film is in that and she is hot as hell now. 
Overall 4 out of 5 Stars!

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